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Turning 44: Is It Really a Big Deal or Just Another Routine Day?

Caution: This blog is a bit long and you may have to scroll a bit but I’m sure you will find it relatable.

If you are living in the city of dreams, Mumbai, July is the month of heavy rains, people getting a viral, cloudy days, kanda bhajiya and chai. For me, with all this, it also happens to be my birthday month.


Gone are those days when friends would surprise you at midnight with a cake and then plonking themselves on the bed chatting up till the wee hours of the morning.


Now you are usually fast asleep by 11 pm and when you wake up in the morning and squint your eye to see the phone, there are a barrage of notifications. Birthday wishes from friends, family, acquaintances, and even that random connect who I networked with at a conference five years ago….all thanks to Facebook, Instagram and of course LinkedIn. It was my 44th birthday, and despite the monsoon dampening any desire to step outside, my phone was buzzing with enough energy to power a small city.

It’s a day when you feel you are the most important person of this country.


Is turning 44 really a big deal? Or just another routine day? Let me tell you, it feels like a bit of both. On one hand, it's just another trip around the sun. On the other, the sheer number of messages and calls makes you feel like a rock star. But beneath the flurry of digital confetti, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts.


By 9 AM, my WhatsApp was inundated with messages. Some were heartfelt, some were generic, and some were downright hilarious. My best friend sent me a meme of a sloth saying, "You're not old, you're vintage!" Meanwhile, my aunt sent a voice note that lasted a good 10 minutes, detailing how I should focus on settling down because the biological clock is ticking. Jab itne dost aur well wishers hai…dushmano ki kya zaroorat?


While the wishes poured in, my brain went into overdrive. At 44, there’s a constant buzz in my head, not just from the notifications but from the endless questions about life, fitness, and future plans.


Life, work, health, self-care and everything in between

There were ten thousand thought bubbles in my head – How do I stay fit? Yoga? Running? Gym? Diet? How do I manage the frizzy hair and the skin acne…obviously it wasn’t the bachpan wale pimples but the “Hormonal imbalance”!


With all this, how can I not have thoughts about my life, my work. Of course I love my work…now after becoming a freelancer! But what else am I doing? Should I travel more? Am I saving enough? Should I be indulging in life’s treasures more frequently before I grow old?


Oh yeah…one more thing…I’m an Indian…a desi…living with my parents at this age…After watching all kinds of movies and web series, you start pondering over another thought…should I move out and stay in my “own pad”? Should I think of a live-in? Oh no…log kya kahenge. Though there are a certain strata of people who are pretty chill with this idea, my extended family is on the other side of that and while some are the rebellious kinds…I’m the sweet, aagyakaari (sometimes naughty or someone calls me khurafaati) beti.


Let’s embrace the chaos

With 44 years of life experience, I’ve realized that these thoughts are not just mine. They resonate with every Indian unmarried woman in her 40s. The societal expectations, the personal ambitions, the fear of missing out – it’s a cocktail of emotions and thoughts that can be both overwhelming and exhilarating.

But here's the thing: Amidst the chaos of birthday messages and existential musings, there’s a profound sense of gratitude. Grateful for the people who care enough to send a message, for the life I've lived so far, and for the opportunities that still lie ahead.


So, is turning 44 a big deal? Yes and no. It's a milestone that brings its own set of reflections and resolutions. It’s a reminder that life is both fleeting and precious, and it’s okay to have questions and doubts. The important thing is to embrace the journey, celebrate the small victories, and cherish the moments that make you feel alive.


So, I have decided to take it one day at a time. After all, age is just a number, and life – well, life is what you make of it. What do you think? Would love to hear your comments.

 

 

1 Comment


Guest
Jul 27, 2024

OMG, it's the same here and my birthday month is coming up. So it feels good to know that somethings just don't change no matter the age, that I am not alone and we are all just figuring out (it was the opposite that we were all indoctrined with growing up & came as a shock for so many of us). Enjoy the here and now, embrace it every as it comes.... Much love and power to you Nikita!

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