Have we ever realized the number of times we get anxious and hyper in a day for things which are not in our control? From getting stuck in traffic and not reaching office on time to how is the boss’ mood going to be or the impact of someone’s behavior towards us.
Our mind tends to fixate on things we cannot change, leading to feelings of frustration and helplessness. How other people think or do is not in our control but how our day will be is absolutely in our hands. If we react to every small thing, we are surely going to get anxious, fearful, irritable and worked up all the time. Instead, what if we shifted our perspective and embraced the concept of Radical Acceptance?
What is Radical Acceptance?
It is a concept of acknowledging and embracing reality as it is, without judgment or resistance. It's about recognizing that while we may not be able to control external circumstances, we have the power to control our internal responses. Instead of expending energy on worrying about things beyond our influence, we can channel our focus towards what we can control – our thoughts, behavior, attitude, and expressions.
What WE do
We feel stuck because we focus on things that are outside of our control. The more we do this, the more disempowered we are, and the more frustrated or disappointed or angry or anxious we feel. Instead, when we focus more on what’s in our control, we are more empowered; and we can actually do something useful.
What WE should do
The only thing we can actually control is ourselves, our decisions, our attitude, and reactions. Stop being frustrated over things such as weather, traffic, sudden changes, the past, the future, other people’s mind, thoughts and feelings, and of course other people’s happiness.
You know what’s the first step? Make a list of what is and isn’t in our control. Trust me, this list will give you so much freedom and help you break free from the shackles of stressing out on trivial things.
Shift your focus to what you can influence, rather than dwelling on uncontrollable factors. Channel our energy productively and work towards meaningful goals.
Be present in the moment and accept it without any judgement. This will help you respond to situations calmly and rationally, instead of reacting impulsively out of fear or anxiety.
Embrace impermanence because nothing in life is permanent. Enjoy the experience and don’t think of the outcome.
Take ownership of your own actions, choices and reactions to bring positive changes in your life.
Don’t be harsh on yourself. Be compassionate and kind to yourself.
Let all the things that you cannot control go, relax and focus on positive things that can make you feel better at the moment. Every conversation and situation is relative. Always try to see the things and events from another perspective.
Does that mean we are giving up?
This in no way means being submissive or passively resigning to a situation. On the contrary, it's about acknowledging reality as it is and then taking deliberate, empowered actions based on that understanding. When we focus on what we can control, we reclaim our power and chart a path towards growth and fulfillment.
By adopting a mindset of Radical Acceptance, we transform our approach to life. We become less reactive to external circumstances and more proactive in shaping our own reality. Rather than feeling powerless in the face of uncertainty, we harness the power of choice to create meaningful change.
I would strongly recommend reading the book Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha by Dr. Tara Brach.
Try it out and share your experience.
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